Friday, December 30, 2011

2011 yang LUAR BIASA

2011 adalah tahun yang luar biasa buat saya. Luar biasa menyenangkan dan luar biasa mengecewakan. Keduanya memberi pelajaran yang luar biasa berharga buat saya dan menjadikan manusia yang lebih tangguh dan siap untuk memulai hidup baru di tahun-tahun selanjutnya. Pelajaran yang modulnya padat untuk dipelajari. Pendewasaan dalam setiap aspek kehidupan, pendewasaan iman, pendewasaan sebagai pribadi, dalam hal pendidikan, pekerjaan, dan relasi saya dengan orang-orang terkasih. 

Dalam setiap langkah yang saya tempuh di tahun 2011 ini saya selalu terlebih dahulu menetapkan tujuan, rencana perjalanan, menyiapkan bekal, memperkirakan hambatan, dan mempersiapkan diri secara fisik dan mental untuk menempuh perjalanan tersebut. Langkah pertama selalu dimulai dengan doa disertai keimanan, harapan, dan kecintaan terhadap setiap perjalanan yang akan saya tempuh apapun itu nantinya yang akan terjadi. Saya selalu siap. Pada prosesnya, tentu tidak mudah, motivasi internal pun tidak selalu kuat, belum lagi hambatan dari luar. Setiap kali saya kelelahan, saya berhenti sejenak. Ketika sedang mulai berhenti sejenak, ingin rasanya menambah lama waktu berhenti. Ingin rasanya memanjakan diri saya lebih lama lagi. Segeralah saya tersadar begitu banyak hal yang saya ingin raih dan itu tentunya tidak akan tercapai bila saya berlama-lama memanjakan diri saya di pemberhentian. Kemudian, memulai lagilah saya melangkah untuk yang pertama kali, melanjutkan perjalanan. Hambatan datang menghadang menyurutkan semangat memancing untuk berhenti untuk yang kesekian kali. Kali ini saya tidak akan kalah. "Kapan saya bisa sampai kalau saya berhenti terus?" pikir saya. Seberapapun lelahnya, saya berusaha untuk mengatur tempo perjalanan saya, menjadi lebih lambat namun konstan, untuk menghemat energi, melangkah namun pasti. Ternyata, ketika saya melangkah dengan lebih lambat, saya jadi bisa menikmati pemandangan. Sesuatu yang tidak bisa saya nikmati ketika saya terlalu ngoyo dalam perjalanan ini. Ternyata indah! Di sini, saya belajar untuk menikmati proses. Saat saya menikmati proses, saya lebih banyak menyerap segala ekstrak penting sebagai pelajaran dalam perjalanan hidup saya. 

Ketika saya memfokuskan diri pada proses, saya tidak lagi memiliki waktu untuk merasakan lelahnya fisik dan muaknya pikiran, tidak lagi sempat untuk mengeluh. Saya terlalu sibuk menyerap kenikmatan hidup dari apapun yang ada di hadapan saya, lebih bisa menghargai hidup saya. Ketika saya melihat jauh kebelakang, jarak yang berhasil saya tempuh, pengalaman yang telah saya dapat, bekal yang masih tersedia, saya bersyukur bahwa takdir saya adalah menempuh perjalanan ini. Sambil terus melangkah saya merasa bersyukur bahwa dalam keadaan apapun, hambatan dan tantangan apapun yang telah saya lalui sebelumnya, saya telah berhasil mencapai titik ini dengan selamat. Setiap jejak langkah yang saya tinggalkan, setiap kilometer yang berhasil saya lalui adalah jejak keberhasilan dan jarak pencapaian keberhasilan yang menjadikan saya pribadi yang lebih tangguh dan dewasa. Saya siap menempuh perjalanan baru di tahun baru dengan hidup  saya yang baru.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Love could never ever feel this strong

You are the candle, love's the flame
A fire that burns through wind and rain
Shine your light on this heart of mine
Till the end of time
You came to me like the dawn through the night
Just shinin' like the sun
Out of my dreams and into my life
You are the one, you are the one

Said I loved you but I lied
'Cause this is more than love I feel inside
Said I loved you but I was wrong
'Cause love could never ever feel so strong
Said I loved you but I lied

With all my soul I've tried in vain
How can mere words my heart explain
This taste of heaven so deep so true
I've found in you
So many reasons in so many ways
My life has just begun
Need you forever, I need you to stay
You are the one, you are the one

You came to me like the dawn through the night
Just shinin' like the sun
Out of my dreams and into my life
You are the one, you are the one

Said I loved you
But this is more than love I feel inside
Said I loved you, but I lied


Wednesday, November 23, 2011


I thought that things like this get better with time
But i still need you, why is that?
You're the only image in my mind
So i still see you... around

I miss you, like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
Said i miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?

Words don't ever seem to come out right
But i still mean them, why is that?
It hurts my pride to tell you how i feel
But i still need to, why is that?
I miss you, like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
I said I miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?

It don't matter who you are
It's so simple, a feeling
But it's everything 
No matter who you love
It is so simple, a feeling
But it's everything

I miss you, like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
I said i miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?

It don't matter who you are
It's so simple, a feeling
But it's everything 
No matter who you love
It is so simple, a feeling
But it's everything


Saturday, November 19, 2011

Singapoh short trip

Finally after 2 years of uni, I completed my Master Degree in adult clinical psychology in University of Indonesia. My life's been fullfilled with the EUPHORIA since then. Mom, the one who really was excited, arranged a short trip to Singapore. I take that as a reward for me, for the struggle i've been through. ;) the best trip after 2 years of hidup SELIBAT. lol

Nanda showed up and join the trip. FUN!

I had load of fun!
:D :D :D

Thursday, November 17, 2011

You are the thunder. I am the lightning.

Selena Gomez di video ini cantik gilak!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

You don't know what love is

This song is amazing. Lovely performance.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Cousin complex

There's always a rivalry between us
"Mirror.. mirror on the wall.. who's the prettiest of us all??"


Thursday, October 13, 2011

I heart

 Sarah Jessica Parker in Marchesa

Sarah Jessica Parker in Elie Saab 

Kim Kardashian in Zac Posen

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. 

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. 

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: 

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating. 

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. 

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. 

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. 

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. 

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. 

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. 

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. 

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. 

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now. 

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: 

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. 

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. 

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions. 

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.Thank you all very much. -delivered on June 12, 2005 

Steve Jobs
CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios

Thank you for making my life easier with your GENIUSness, Sir

Monday, October 10, 2011

My weekend

No make up face + a baby + a 9 month pregnant woman
This is exactly what we did on the weekend.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Sweet reminder

Just a sweet reminder to myself that in about two weeks i'm scheduled to have 
my thesis exam.

Solution Focused Therapy
Helping people change and become more effective and efficient as change agents (of change). Simply identify what you are already doing which is efficient and effective for you then do those things more consistently and intentionally.

People who are locked into their problems are focusing on things they lack of. Abandoning solutions. Solution Focused Therapy looks for occasions in which people able to think, feel, act in ways that move them toward their goals. Finding solutions. It emphasizes people's goals, ways, and help them analyzing resources they already have to create the best strategy finding solution solving problems.

Problems are problems because they are maintained. Problems are held together simply by their being described as "problems"-de Shazer. Once this identification is broken, the individual gains the ability to discover different and new constructive pattern that become solutions.

Dewan, M. J., Steenbarger, B. N., & Greenberg, R. P. (2004). The art and science of brief psychotherapies. Arlington: American Psychiatric Publishing, Inc

Friday, October 7, 2011

Thursday, October 6, 2011

New shorts and Necklace love

Grand Indo-ing with mom, dad, and monyet (brother). 
Had quality time with family, bisa makan gratis dibayarin. 
Enak masih jadi anak bisa minta dijajanin.

OmaigadDRAGON! ini celana enak banget dipake.

Kalung (udah ga baru lagi) masih terus dipake entah bakal sampe kapan.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Sophienation 2011

There's only ONE reason i went to Soulnation this year.


and the rest was fun taking pictures

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Boy i hear you in my dreamsI feel your whisper across the seaI keep you with me in my heart:) :) :)

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Someday we'll know

Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer

Two years later
he's still on my mind

Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain

Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why i wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
Or what the wind says when she cries?
I'm speeding by the place that i met you
For the 97th time...tonight

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day i'll go
Dancing on the moon

Someday you'll know
That i am gonna be the one for you 

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow,
I watched the stars crash in the sea,
If i could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me? right now

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Kondangan si Gadis Jawa

Musim kawin. Kali ini yang menikah si Gadis Jawa, Anindya. 
Tapi si Anindya-nya lagi sibuk di pelaminan.
Jadi ini yang keliatan temen-temennya aja.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Necklace Love

Currently in love with this necklace. I wear it aaaall the tiiimeee! 
(as you can see in my previous post too)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Jeans on Jeans

We used to think that doubling down on denim was criminal. I accidentally pulled two denim pieces and i absolutely loved it! I attempted wearing different shade and wash of denim paired with bold color statement necklace, caramel hobo bag, and loafers.

Hush Puppies Top. Lee Cooper Jeans (Rolled up!).
Hush Puppies Hobo Bag. Unbranded Necklace.
Jacque Martin Watch. FLD Shoes. 

Thursday, September 8, 2011


Shipley & Halmos Catalina Tank 
Topshop Coral Crop Jacket
Porter Grey Floral Chiffon Skirt 
Oscar de la Renta Cabochon Earrings
Oscar de la Renta Russian Gold Flower Ring
M.C.L. by Matthew Campbell Laurenza Large Pave Flower Ring 
Mulberry Taylor Oversized Satchel 
Prada Suede Stitched Strappy Platform Sandals 

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I heart

Rachel Roy Necklace

Jeffrey Campbell Buckle Down Boots


Keira Knightley in Valentino